The sunset and Talmidim...

I believe theirs power in music; both good and bad. I believe music can bring you closer to God but I also believe that it can sway you and make you live off your emotions. I've been trying to find a healthy balance of how music affects me.

This week we started charting through the book of Exodus; a book about God's deliverance and I don't think this book could come at a better time. I've been struggling with looking back to who I was. So today I woke up and headed straight for Exodus and as I struggled through the first couple chapters and I got to chapter 11 the Passover and final Plague. I think it sunk it how through these Plagues it's not just God's heart that the Hebrews believe in him but also the Egyptians and I think sometimes its easy to read the OT and know that God loves the Jews but he really loves all people and wants to set them free into this promise land, this is why 'a mixed multitude' goes up out of Egypt wanting the promise land.

And the truth is God wants to set all of us free and I have been one of the blessed one who can say that God has set me free and I try to walk in that forgiveness and redemption (for three years now). And something that I am always reminded of as I read these books is that I don't deserve to be set free, but I have been. God has brought me out of my Egypt, how dare I look back at it?

(Heres where everything connects to the top)

I went for a walk today to go meet some friends for dinner and on the way I looked out my window from my house which gives me about an inch view up to the sky and seeing as it has been raining off and on for the past 24 hours I expected rain to join me on my walk. As I walked out the house I put on the song Talmidim (The Servant) by For Today and, for those of you familiar with the song, I got to the first build up where the singer pleads with God for a new name, and worthy to process the name of God and as this happened I looked over and saw one of the most beautiful sun set I've seen in awhile. I wish I could have kept that moment; hearing a plea for newness and seeing such a beautiful site. God didn't have to speak because I know what he would have said. Tim, I've brought you out of the rain, theres so much more beautiful things ahead, don't look back, don't look back...

I know season in my life will come and go, dry seasons, storms, fruitful season all that jazz but I also know that no matter what I am God's and he is mine, nothing will ever bring me back to who I was, not after the grace and love I've experienced. I feel like the Hebrews standing on the opposite side of the Red Sea and it has just closed behind me and all my fears and enemies have been swept away and the sea is closed behind me; theres no go back. never...

I pray as you walk with God the Father, Lord of all creation, that you would strive for the Promise Land, that you would walk your day to day life knowing that Jesus Christ has brought you out of you're Egypt and is brining you home, never go back, always push forward...

be still and know I AM..

so its been a long time since I've updated this, over a month. I've been a busy boy. Sorry everybody! but I hope you enjoy this...

I don't really know where to start, I mean how do you describe what you've learned after spending 50+ hours a week studying the bible. I'm sure I could sit here and rant about how Egypt believed in gods that where half person and half animal or how revelation is broken into the same story 4 different times, but all I really have been seeing is just how amazing God is and how bad I am.

I've recently come to realize that this season is the season for SBS, not for anything else really. I've been putting things before the Lords current plans for my life (which is SBS), but I've seen how faithful He is so I'd like to return the favor and try to be faithful for him. I've been desiring to meet God at a deeper level, go deeper into homework, go deeper into living, all that stuff. I've come to the point in SBS where I'm proud to say I can no longer do this on my own, I need God, badly.

I've been wondering a lot about missions; what IS missions? who is called? why are we called? all that jazz. It's easy for my pride to tell me that God called me because I'm an amazing Christian but the truth is, from studying the word, God doesn't need to use 'amazing' people, he uses broken, sinful, wretches which I am one. I did nothing to get called to missions, it isn't because of anything I've done but it's all about God's divine choice. I mean all I did was read Matt 28 and thought well that makes sense I need to do that. I look at people like Jonah who was called out of Israel and seeing how unwilling his heart is, or Jacob making demands from God or he wouldn't follow him, but both these men have found themselves saying 'welp... im screwed, I need God.' But theres one thing I know about God, he loves us, a lot and he will help any of us as we walk this road into eternity with him. He is a good and loving God who, as the psalm says, has righteousness that reaches the highest heavens. I know he has never ending love for sinners and brings us to our knees....

God, though I am not deserving of anything you give, I need you.