cant stand your loneliness...

downloading music i use to listen to is awesome... anywho. Just finished up the color coding, paragraph titles and rough horizontal. The past three days have been long but good ones. We've been celebrating the 50th ann. of YWAM with the founders Loren and Darlene Cunningham. Its been great to just really spend time listening to what God has down/ what hes doing/ and what the future could look like. In between these meetings I've been spending time with some Taiwanese people and the lucky part is that they don't speak a lot of english so I get to practice my chinese, which until I talked to people who only know chinese, I realize I don't know half the words I wish I knew. I enjoy speaking in another language, but more so the people who I've been speaking to. They've really grown on my heart. I've just been desiring to see any many Taiwanese people come to Christ as possible and I pray that the people in my class feel the same.

I've been reading a book I've been struggling through for awhile called "Ghandi to Vinoba" and it talks about non-violence and living peaceful lives. Its been really hard to struggle through. Something my school really stresses is that "first you do, than you preach" and I feel like this is so true with me in the matter. I feel like I talk about how bad war is but yet I do nothing to end it, or bring relief to those who are struggling, on both sides. I mean I through up a prayer every once in awhile, but is that putting hands and feet to the gospel?

Listening to Loren Cunningham preach has been moving. Its awesome to know that he wants people to be saved no matter what. Liars, thieves, rapists, murders, terrorist, you name them, they can be saved. Loren was saying how if we meet Osama Bin Ladan we should turn him into the next Paul. I fully agree, I feel if terrorist cant be redeemed then take away over half of the New Testament. I know this sounds all peachy on paper, but its hard, I believe it is so much harder to be against violence than for it.

I would love to spend some time in a war zone, loving people, praying for those who have been hurt by either sides of the party. I guess its just one of those situations were I have to just look around and be content with where I am, I mean I am content here [in the good way] I wouldn't trade were I'm at right now for much, if anything.

We finished up the 50th celebration by taking the Lords Supper and committed ourself to God to serve and give our lives for the benefit of others. I'm so game for that, I'm tired of my life being about me, I'm tired of praying prayers asking selfishly for things, I just want to know Jesus and I feel as I come to know Jesus everything else will come into place.

my life is no longer mine...

SBS sweek 1 done...

its been a long and fulfilling week, after spending around 50 hours this week in studies of the book of Galatians, I can help but wonder what the next 9 months will be like. Tonight I did a practice that I haven't done since the states... I invited myself over to someones house for dinner. It was a good meal and a good time of fellowship, I also got a hair cut thats pretty sweet, thanks Brian ;D but yeah I sit here and rethink this week the hours I've spent looking at stuff just makes me stop and praise God that he is good enough to let me do this school. I've been trying just to focus on God and nothing but Him, and truly its been amazing, just letting the worries of the world fall of me and into the hands of a God that has everything in control. I cant see me doing anything with my life but living and serving God its just to much of an honor, I've fallen so much in love with Taiwan, I really want to go out of my way to start convos. with random Taiwanese people this week. I want to be pouring out what God is pouring in to me... news letter comming soon!!!!

sorry its been awhile...

*newsletter update* I am trying to collect more emails before my next news letter, i am very over due, for which i apologize, give it more time, I hope to send one out before the end of this month! okay on to the real note!...

so during my time in between schools, I've been struggling with the idea of living like Christ and living a life of following Christ. I've confronted my mindset on some sins, I've realized I own to much junk, I realize the only plans I should be making are none. I look to much into the future and miss whats going on right now. Im so worried about whats going to happen when I get back to the states that I cant focus right now. All I really want right now it just a real good revelation of Jesus, and Him just pushing me to be like Him. I dont want to have plans for the future I just want to follow Jesus. If that means spending years at home. thats okay. if it means moving back to taiwan right away. thats okay. I just want to do what Hes doing!

And to tell you the truth my biggest fear right now is coming home. people i have to face. places i have to go to. america in general. If you're wondering about my current feelings about christians and the american church i believe an Al Pacino quote is needed "Just when i thought i was out, they pulled me back in." right when i thought i was over my feelings of the church i was at the wrong place at the wrong time, read the wrong thing at the wrong time, or maybe it was all at the right time. I know im not perfect. I know my mindsets are radical. but im convinced i dont live the life of a christian nearly as much as i should [whatever a 'christian life' looks like], and sadly im alone, but theirs hope! I feel like i need more grace in this area, maybe. I feel like I need to understand im a loser, and a sinner and only by the blood have i been redeemed and changed. But how much can we ride on grace before the discipline comes?

In about a week I will be starting my next school SBS [school of biblical studies] hopefully there I will be able to be pushed to the point of no return with my walk with Jesus. I feel like material stuff is holding me back from really feeling the peace of God in my life, and sin of course. is it a sin to have things? no. it is a sin to be selfish? yes. but i feel my mindset is slowly changing, maybe ill meet some people with real needs i can help.

I believe God has started a new chapter in my life...

timy in Thailand? oh yeah...

SO this last week [feb 20th-27th] I spent in Thailand [there is a difference between Taiwan and Thailand] hahah =p. I was staying at the YWAM base there with my friend Brandon Fox, an american missionary living in Thailand. He taught in our DTS about evangalism. The week before I left for Thailand it was raining all the time here in Danshui, and it was so hot in Thailand. It was great, I spent most of my time with Brandon helping him [if you want to call it that] with the guys at his house. They are all Thai boys who go to college, and have just recently [well a couple years for some] come to know the Lord. Thai people are so friendly and love getting a smile from white people, they also love to talk. I met some great people this week.

On Tuesday they had a worship service and I was asked to share some stuff from the Word before the worship started. For those of you who know me well, you know i love the bible and love to teach from it, so of course I said yes! The rest of the week I spent time with Brandon and the guys living at his house. It was a fun week. Just a good time to relax a little and to help serve those around me. I would post more but their so many stories to tell! ask me about it!

chinese new year!

Here in Taiwan we didnt celebrate valentines on the 14th but rather Chinese New Year. What we where celebrating? im not sure all i know is that Taiwnese kids love it because they get lots of money haha. I was invited to my friend Elmos house to celebrate. After a long day of working [moving a giant TV down 6 flights of steps at 7 in the morning, painting and scrapping] i met up with Elmo, got some food than went to pack for my weekend trip. After a boat ride across the river, we met up with Elmos mom. The whole family went out for HotPot, which taiwanese people love. and ive never heard of until i got here. But yeah we than went and rented movies and bought junk food [my mindset to pig out "its chinese new years im gunna let myself go!"] Saturday was the celebrating day! we had a great meal, I had some squid! thats awesome isnt it?! and money was passed out in red envelopes, probably because they are envelopes.. that are red! Its so cool to get to experience a culture experience like this first hand.

the tower of babel

During my free time here in taiwan ive been trying to pick up on the language, Chinesse, of course the frustrations of it all makes me look back to the tower of Babel when God decieded to give us many different languages. God did this so we wouldnt try to build our towers to heaven, untimently to humble us and its worked. i mean for any of us who try to learn a 2nd language its incredibly humbling, you screw up so many times, you yell "bathroom" at a wedding in stead of what was intended [okay maybe this was just me...], and say things you dont mean to say and get laughed at. One of my DTS classmates [soon to SBS classmates] speaks Spanish, Chinesse and some what english. When he screws up english of course i laugh and make a joke but im quickly reminded by a person or Holy Spirit that im making fun of him for not being able to speak his THIRD language correctly. And id like to say to everyone back in America who thinks "this is america we speak english" i want to say, try going to another country where they dont speak a language you know and see what its like if they use that. youd be so lost, get nothing done, and you feel so alone. i am greatful for people who try to learn other languages, such as english, i am greatful for those who are humble enough to try to speak to someone knowing they might make a fool of themself. quick story. i went to subway with two taiwanese friends of mine and i ordered my meal all in chinesse [minus: ham] so out of confidence i went to mcdonals that night [why dont i eat anything but western?] and tried to order by myself in chinesse.. it went well until i was asked if i wanted it for here or to go. so confused i pointed at the door, than reliezed he might of been asking if i wanted it small or large so i just lowered my head and repeated the last thing he said which sounded like "ta ma" which was the end of a question but i probably said "his/her horse." God is always humbling the proud! humble yourself, learn another language =p

first week back...

so ive been back in Danshui, taiwan for almost a week now. its been amazing, ive missed it here so much. it is truly like a 2nd home for me. ive been able to meet up and "play" with some of my friends [i say play because in chinese they dont have a word for hang out they just say "lets play"] of course ive been trying to spend time with God. Ive realived that i dont understand God but i have faith that He knows what Hes doing and I dont. but yeah ive got about 13 books left until im down the bible for the 2nd time. pretty pumped about that. back at the DTS house i am the only boy left living there all the others have gone to family or home, causing me to be alittle homesick. esp, since ive been listening to all local hardcore bands and would give anything to stomp the floor with my boys but im much happier out here surving God. Neat story i was praying one night and i felt like God told me to go to The Rock [which is our local coffee bar which we use for ministry and build friendships] and so i went and there when i got in was my friend Walker. He and i started hanging out about 2 weeks before outreach and than over 2 months we didnt get to see each other or talk. it was great to see him. God makes all our paths straight!